pensive and touchy...

“Death is terrifying because it is so ordinary. It happens all the time.”

3:30 AM
Hits the snooze button and goes back to sleep…

15 minutes later and the alarm clock goes off for the second time…and then hits snooze again…

4:00 AM
That’s what it says on the alarm clock display. Finally gets up to take a shower and get ready for work.

5:15 AM
Makes a toast and a cup of coffee.

5:25 AM
Walks out the door and starts to chime in in the humdrum, morning rush-hour traffic.

And that’s how my morning goes, usually. I get in the office around 6:00-6:05am, depending on the traffic. Past 6am and you’ll catch me scrambling off the garage elevator doors to the main hospital lobby, trying to be at my desk at the earliest time possible (even though we, as part of the management team, do not have a time card to punch in the clock. I don’t know, maybe it’s the OCPD in me.) As I get to my desk, I start my computer, open my work e-mail, log on to Epic and start auditing charts and move on to my day.

Yesterday turned out to be quite different for me, though. It was a bleak and rainy Monday to start off with… what a perfect way to jumpstart the work week, right? And not even half-way through my morning tasks and my desk phone was ringing…


Me: Hi, this is K…
Asia: Hey K, it’s Asia! Have you heard?
Me: Heard what??
Asia: …that E passed away…
Me: What??! Are you serious? How? When?


So many questions raced through my brain and then I felt numb that I didn’t even hear the rest of the things that Asia said. E's death was just so sudden and unexpected (only for me though, as I learned later on). I still remember our last conversation at the lab hallway from when we saw each other last. He was telling me how he had so much fun in Vegas that past weekend and won some money from the slots. To me, he always seemed like a happy-go-lucky guy. He loved to blow off money at the casinos and took vacation everywhere, whilst I secretly wished I could do the same. But little did I know that he had cancer. Liver cancer.


We were never really friends outside of work so I never really knew the story of his life. We just had some common denominators that started us talking and chit-chatting down the hallways. We're both from the province in the Philippines (him from Ilocos and I from Isabela); we had common physician friends at work; and most importantly, we're both Filipino.


Hearing this sad news have had put me in a pensive mood. It just reminded me that life is too short and that I need to live my life to the fullest and just enjoy every second of it. Even though life oftentimes gets so hectic and we get caught in a rat race, we need to stop and take a breather -- 'stop and smell the roses'.


This is kind of a wake up call for me, because truly, my life gets busy and I get stuck in the hustle and bustle of everything.

So off I go to have some fun now!!

P.S.
To you my friend, E, may your soul rest in peace.

tata,
K